About this test
The coffee is not of the right roast, the phone is already "old", and a vacation without a swimming pool is not a vacation. Let's check the level of your ponts. The hints begin imperceptibly: the usual coffee is suddenly not author enough, the phone is morally outdated in half a year, and a hotel without a swimming pool is already considered a field camp. We lovingly measure this level of discernment.
The test distinguishes between a normal desire for comfort, a taste for quality things and the moment when the requirements become a separate sport. No bank account checks — just reactions to everyday inconveniences.
Attitude to things and comfort depends on income, experience and personal priorities. There's no financial advice or affluence here—just a humorous look at pickiness, status purchases, and small luxuries.
What the questions actually test
Below are the topics of five situations without answer choices or score hints. They explain the idea behind the test without spoiling the final result.
- The coffee shop doesn't have your favorite milk. What the fuck?
- Your phone is already two years old. He…
- A friend earns more. What does the inner frog do?
- There's a 70% discount item on sale, but you don't really need it. You…
- A vacation without a five-star hotel is…
How the test works
The test has 5 questions. Choose one of four answers and the site moves straight to the next question. Answers award different scores, and the total is matched to one of the prepared characters. The algorithm does not use AI for hidden profiling and cannot read your messages. Signing in is optional and only saves XP, streaks, and awards.
How to read and share your result
The “How drunk are you, bitch?” result is a satirical summary of your answers, not an objective fact. Compare it with your own impression or take the test again. The result card is made for Stories, while its text and link can be shared through Threads, Telegram, or your device menu. Do not publish someone else’s private information.
Frequently asked questions
What does “How drunk are you, bitch?” reveal?
It turns your answers into one of the humorous characters in the “Money and ponts” category. It is entertainment, not a psychological assessment or diagnosis.
How long does the test take?
About 2 minutes: the test has 5 short multiple-choice questions.
Do I need to register or use Telegram?
No. The test and result work without registration. Telegram is only needed to save XP, level, streak, and awards.
Can I share the result?
Yes. You can make a Stories card, post to Threads or Telegram, or use your device’s native sharing menu.
Should I take the result seriously?
Only as seriously as it is fun. This is not a scientific method, professional advice, or a diagnosis.