About this test
The coffee is not of the right roast, the phone is already "old", and a vacation without a swimming pool is not a vacation. Let's check the level of your ponts. The hints begin imperceptibly: the usual coffee is suddenly not author enough, the phone is morally outdated in half a year, and a hotel without a swimming pool is already considered a field camp. We lovingly measure this level of discernment.
The test distinguishes between a normal desire for comfort, a taste for quality things and the moment when the requirements become a separate sport. No bank account checks — just reactions to everyday inconveniences.
What the questions actually test
“How drunk are you, bitch?” contains 5 concrete scenes, starting with “The coffee shop doesn't have your favorite milk. What the fuck?” and reaching “A vacation without a five-star hotel is…”. The options below each scene show the full range of reactions without revealing the final archetype.
- The coffee shop doesn't have your favorite milk. What the fuck?
- ☕ I'll take another coffee, I'll survive
- 🙂 I get a little upset, but not sad
- 🧐 I ask how they even work without oatmeal
- ⭐ Get the hell out of here and write a seven-paragraph review
- Your phone is already two years old. He…
- 📱 Works - means normal
- 🤔 I'm thinking about a replacement, but don't panic
- 😳 It's a shame to get it in front of people, damn it
- 💎 This is archaeology, the new Pro Max Ultra Huaix is urgently needed
- A friend earns more. What does the inner frog do?
- 🎉 Happy for a friend and motivated
- 🐸 A little croaking, but I'm in control
- 🔎 I'm looking for where exactly he has a fucking life
- 👑 It's the injustice of the universe, because I'm smarter
- There's a 70% discount item on sale, but you don't really need it. You…
- 🧠 I don't buy it, math didn't beat the brain
- 🛒 I put it in the basket and think
- 🏷️ I'm buying - I'm saving, dammit
- 📦 I take two to save twice as much
- A vacation without a five-star hotel is…
- 🏕️ Vacation if I'm fine
- 🙂 Depends on the price and the company
- 😮💨 A compromise that I will tell everyone about
- 🏨 Not a vacation, but some tourist shit
Frequently asked questions
What exactly does “How drunk are you, bitch?” explore?
The quiz connects your decisions in “The coffee shop doesn't have your favorite milk. What the fuck?” and “A vacation without a five-star hotel is…”. Choices range from “☕ I'll take another coffee, I'll survive” to “🏨 Not a vacation, but some tourist shit”, while the outcome depends on the complete answer pattern.
How long does “How drunk are you, bitch?” take?
About 2 min: answer 5 questions, from “The coffee shop doesn't have your favorite milk. What the fuck?” through “A vacation without a five-star hotel is…”. No registration is required to take it.